20040525

What's playing? (updated)

I've been posing these music questions lately to friends:

  1. At what age did you first begin to appreciate popular music?
  2. Is that age at least 15 years ago? If yes, proceed.
  3. Can you think of two performers or groups who couldn't get your attention then, but for whom you have a deep appreciation now? Who are they?


Update: Andrew Ian Dodge asks just what constitutes "popular" music. I admit, I had reservations about my choice of terms. So for the purposes of this post, popular means "easily accessible through broadcast at the time." That can include country and western, bubblegum, classic rock, all fine with me.

20040524

Dare I eat a peach?

My first pair of bifocals arrived in the mail today.

Provided under TriCare, they are not the gradient kind. A sudden blur occurs at the boundary between magnified and non-magnified portions of the lens. This will take some getting used to, but they're only for the few hours a day after I take out contact lenses.

On the upside, the ophthalmologist says I'm an ideal candidate for LASIK, my corneas are about 580 microns thick so there's plenty of meat for the surgery. Uncle Sugar would pay for it if I were in the right status. Alas, I am not. As Advon puts it, "you're not Active Duty, you're just on active duty."

* * * * *

Firstborn and Middlechild are sleeping their second consecutive night in a tent pitched in the backyard. It's colder tonight, so they get thicker sleeping bags and a blanket tossed over the both of them.

* * * * *

Boy's stitches were removed today. I wasn't there to hear that one either.

20040521

Quote for the day

To me, the fact that the FBI is pursuing the wiretapping issue with respect to VOIP is just one more reason to doubt that the Bureau is the right agency to fight terrorism. I would have more confidence in a security agency that is working with the latest technology, not against it.


Arnold Kling

AFAIK, Skype is still available.

Sauce for Lott, sauce for Hollings

Pressure Fritz to resign from office in disgrace. You have to bid higher than you're willing to take. We'll accept his resignation from the Commerce, Science, and Transportation Committee.

TIC: He should be aware that Jews relinquished control of the world economy nearly two months ago. Don't Senators read the friggin papers?

He will not lack gainful employment---his current constituency surely could cast him in some upcoming projects.

FrankenBoy

This is what ten stitches on the forehead look like, 36 hours later.



I wasn't there to see this, or hear the stitches going in. Barbaloot surely would have appreciated the help.

20040518

The '05 Grosstod

About 15 years ago, National Lampoon printed a spoof car review---a central African dictator strained his broken English to praise his Grosstod, a conspicuously-consuming 4X4 behemoth, a precursor to the SUV because his corrupt, impoverished country lacked roads suitable for better-known luxury marques. Countless Google searches have failed to turn up a version of the spoof online. Perhaps a gentle reader who has a print version could scan it up for me.

I think of the Grosstod every time I hear the smooth-jazz string riff that is now the theme for Chrysler's TV commercials, and cast my eyes on the '05 restyling of the 300.



It is almost as if Daimler-Chrysler brought German designers over from their MB division, and committed thems to make a vehicle so Big'n'Ugly that it has passed the pale and is beginning to look cool again. In turn, it looks like a bronze brick with wheels and a grille; a lowered Dakota with a trunk; what Peterbilt would deliver if they secretly entered the passenger car market, repeating aloud to themselves in the skunkworks, "not a Hummer . . . please God, don't give us a Hummer."

It is a broad-shouldered post-post-modern car copped from the Adventures of Batman, sans fins. Like the new Thunderbird, I like the look, though I will pay for several college degrees, maybe one of them my own, before I will ever afford one. By then the design will be obsoleted, then retroed, like the cycle of skirt lengths. (Hmmm, wait a minute. Rental fleets will carry a few of them. Maybe in four years . . . )

Me gusta. Now what it needs is a turbodiesel and a receiver hitch. And central tire inflation.

Full faith and credit, privileges and immunities, and so forth

NPR's analysis of same-sex marriage, found through Volokh Conspiracy, inspires us to ask:
Some supporters of same-sex marriage argue . . . that the DOMAs are indeed unconstitutional, and the Full Faith and Credit Clause mandates recognition of out-of-state marraiges.


Okayyyyyy, so if all States are mandated to recognize any official public act of any State, why wouldn't the State of New York recognize my Pennsylvania CCW? That's an, um, extremely official act that the Commonwealth made, my paying the fee, their running the background check and all . . . Assuming that having to get a license to do so is legit, that license should be as portable as any other. And mind you, my Commonwealth CCW was a license, not a permit. Let's hope that's a genuine difference rather than a semantic distinction.

If by public we presume that this State act is a matter of public record, much like a real estate transaction, say, then this cements further that a CCW license would be even harder to ignore by another State, if it was issued by a State that makes the identities of licenses applicants and holders public.

Oooops. Licenses to practice medicine aren't portable either, are they? Acupuncture? Law? Pharmacy? Massage therapy?

Still, this deserves some exploration. All of the conditions, hoops, pitfalls and minefields applied to CCW legislation by those who want to defeat it must be turned into countervailing legal strategies to liberalize CCW.

If same-sex marriage can be used as a tool to demand CCW reciprocity from intransigent states like New York or California, then I could change my position on the matter from apathy to active support.

Let the Left's activists be careful what they demand in Court.

20040516

They pay us to do this?

My boss Advon and I just finished a week at Undisclosed CRTC, working for Cadre. We tested out the USAF Counter Chemical Warfare Concept of Operations on a Reserve wing.

We worked some long days, and I was cast as a Czech coalition partner so I was in the muck with the exercised unit, MOPP 4, with an accent that made me sound more like Dexter than former Warsaw Pact.

Now we're at a hotel near MSP, overnighting for a flight back to Colorado tomorrow morning.

20040511

TCM and LCG go to the Million Mom March

(What's in the CD player, you ask? -- "Black Math", The White Stripes...)

Hi all. It’s The Cabinet Man (TCM) here. The Little Chinese Girl (LCG) and I went to the MMM with some flyers I typed up in an effort to harass, errr, uhhh, I mean, convert the Moms. Here’s my report.

It was more like the Few Thousand Mom March, actually...

Short Story: I was told to leave.

Long Story: LCG and I got down there late: ~1:45. We missed most of the speeches (Thank God!!) but we did hear Boxer, Conyers, and some (unknown?) author/writer spew vitriol. LCG and I split up (bad move when so vastly outnumbered) to hand-out the flyers. I handed out just a few then I saw this big quilt with pockets in it. I'll call it the Guilt Quilt. So, I go check out the Guilt Quilt. Seems people could stuff these pockets with supportive messages for the MMMs. Cool!! I promptly start stuffing it with flyers. At this point a very stern woman with an "event organizer" laminated badge charges at me, waves a flyer in my face, and says (and I quote):

"We don't like this kind of thing. You're not welcome here. Leave NOW."

Before I could utter some smarmy response, she turned and headed-off. Unfortunately, she was headed in the general direction of one of the many John Q. Laws and I chose not to wait and see where that was headed. I withdrew to the edges on the crowd and tried to keep an eye on LCG. Apparently, she did rather well. She's pretty bold and, unlike Yours Truly, not one to turn a back to confrontation. Unfortunately for her, she got corralled on at least two occasions and, later, one lady asked for a whole stack of flyers. LCG unwittingly gave her many of them. (The woman promptly tossed the whole lot in the trash.) So, in a sense, LCG was braver than I. [feelings of shame] Perhaps she was treated differently because she lacked a 'Y' chromosome. Who knows. Next time it's going to be "pack mentality" when attempting a similar feat.

Just before the MMMs began their march on the White House, LCG and I high-tailed it down to where the Second Amendment Sisters (2ndAS) had their shindig. We got there just as the last remnants of the stage and PA were being carted off. No joy. So, back to the Metro and home.

Notes:

There were many people at the MMM rally wearing t-shirts with pictures of "gun victims" on them. There was typically some verbiage about how this person was a son, aunt, acquaintance, whatever, and how/when they died. The part about this that really made me sad was that these people wore this trauma as a badge of honor. It was almost as if they were proud these people were dead/killed. Victim nobility. It was quite disheartening and I'm not entirely sure I understand it. The founder of Armed Females of America started that organization after her son was shot and killed. No less a tragedy but she doesn't wear it on her sleeve. Diametrically opposite reactions to an identical situation.

The MMM is definitely emotion-driven. The speeches were full of hate and the bile regurgitated upon the NRA's name was disgraceful. They did everything short of compare the NRA to Al Queda. (Actually, Mr. Unknown Author tried real hard to do just that -- fortunately a weak and pointless effort on his part. At least to this rational mind...) The speeches were simply rehashes of the same tired, incorrect "facts"
we always hear from this crowd. There was the requisite "No one needs an AK-47 to hunt ducks or an Uzi to hunt deer" speech.

There were "organizations" there, all wearing their colors. "Minnesotans Against Being Shot" was my favorite. There was the usual signage tripe:

"30,000 kids dead per year"
"That's why it's called an ASSAULT weapon"
"Bush Lied. People Died."

and the long-ago debunked

"AK-47. A.K.A. 47 times more likely to be killed."

There were MMM t-shirts being sold for $5. I thought about buying a few to use as gun cleaning rags (HAR!!) but I didn't want another $20 in the MMM coffers. There were a plethora of "Kerry in 2004" hucksters.

The LCG actually wasn't too proud of the flyers I put together. She thought them too blunt/abrasive. Perhaps so but I've never been one to be politically correct. I used the image of the Ukrainian policemen shooting the Jewish women from the (defunct?) GunTruths.Org site. On the backsides were four different "The MMMs have lied to you about..." where I tried to debunk the biggest lies we hear from The Other Side. I thought they were pretty good, as did a few previewers I recruited. I admit that at one point I was tempted not to go, thinking my presence would somehow lend credence to their "cause". Obviously, I got over that thought.

In all honesty, I got nauseated once. Boxer was spewing from the podium and I literally became sick listening to her. At that point I was really wishing I was at the 2ndAS rally. (I heard the 2ndAS rally was only about 200 or 300 people. Can't tell you for sure...) I was amongst the enemy and they were keeping a watchful eye on me.

The good news is that the MMM resulted in a paltry turn-out. Every time one of the speakers tried to rally the crowd, there was an anemic response. Only the die-hards showed up yesterday and, because of the small turn-out, there was very little momentum. If this is the best they can do, then we have few worries.

On another note, I have a few "gear tests" to post. I'll trickle them out as soon as I consult with Fuz about how to post pictures. Until then, Ciao!!

TCM

20040507

User doc for Idea number 483

Here's the product definition draft pdf of the owner's manual. Again, sorry, no graphics. Maybe in the OT&E draft, we'll have rudimentary graphics.

Update: Compatibility of ULG with Individual Body Armor.
Interceptor Type: The ULG can be used to clean heavily soiled Outer Tactical Vest. Remove Small Arms Protective Inserts and Ballistic Inserts, and wash only the Outer Tactical Vest. Clean the inserts according to the Interceptor System user manual.

PASGT Type: The ULG can be used to clean the entire PASGT Vest but it is not recommended unless the ballistic fabric can be removed and cleaned separately. Due to its weight and size, and the shock-absorbing qualities of the ballistic fabric, only one vest can be cleaned or rinsed at a time. Do not expect good results.

Shear-Thickening Fluid Type: Do not use the ULG to launder any body armor component that incorporates STF technology. Check the care label on the component to be certain ("Contains Polyethylene Glycol" or "Natick Type E" are usually in bold at the top of the care label). The STF armor will not be damaged, but the ULG will not find a suitable oscillation frequency and can damage itself. Follow the care label and user manual to clean STF armor using another method.

20040506

Idea number 483

Some GIs downrange in the Middle East are asking for manually-operated laundering systems, because they don't trust host-nation laundry concessionaires to treat their uniforms properly (or even to return them), and field laundries are either scarce or have long waiting lines. A GI with only a few hours of his own will not spend them waiting for a washing machine to come open. I've my own downrange scare stories about that (a female lieutenant asked me, "Are you playing with my panties, Sawgeant Pundit?").

So soldiers asking for washboards and such so they can wash their sweaty uniforms out in less time, in their own space, without relying on Force Provider. A washboard sounds like it would take up an inordinate amount of space in a guy's pack. Let's come up with something smaller.

Meanwhile, Procter and Gamble have introduced Tide Buzz, a stain-removal system that combines their Tide detergent and an ultrasonic oscillator that punches the detergent into the stain and shatters the stain itself so the detergent can suspend it.

Hmmmm. How about an ultrasonic oscillator, packaged in a waterproof housing, running on AA or C batteries. Get a 5-gallon bucket, or a sink, or a trashcan, any handy watertight container, add water and some detergent, drop in your clothes, turn the oscillator on and drop it in. Hot water would not be necessary. It sets up sound waves in the water to agitate the clothes and the detergent, runs long enough to knock the sweat and dirt out of the clothing, then sounds a beeper. The GI replaces the wash water with rinse water, sets the oscillator for the rinse cycle, drops it in, and the oscillator agitates the rinse water through the clothing to get the detergent out.

A detail nozzle on one end of the unit allows the soldier to use it like the Tide Buzz unit, holding it in hand and pointing the nozzle directly at a problem stain.

I'll bet this device could be packaged to less than the size of a soda can. Make it so it varies its buoyancy, slowly sinking to the bottom of the container, then rising back to the top, back and forth, to agitate all parts of the laundry load equally.

It would wear out uniforms less than ordinary laundry equipment does. The GI still has to dry the uniforms, and that really tears up fabric, but an item I saw on BoingBoing today might give the answer for that, and it might be as portable as the oscillator. Hell, compressed air from a deuce-and-a-half would dry clothing out right quick.

One drawback will have to be investigated: will this device remove permethrin? GIs commonly treat their uniforms with this stuff to repel insects. The permethrin persists after ordinary laundering, but dry-cleaning will remove it in one pass.

I can't claim this oscillator idea as my own, I saw it in one of those Sunday-newspaper gadget inserts (Brookstone and RealGoods struck out). But I'll take the finder's fee for suggesting this to our GIs.

Update: The Tide Buzz system does not use Tide detergent, but a special fluid. I hacked together a user's manual for a trial product, waiting for Adobe's online PDF converter to kick it back to me. No graphics, sorry, I had a deadline to meet.

20040501

The Wise Turkey Encounters a Mysterious Squeaking

It was on a night just like last Wednesday, early spring, a very chilly and wet night just after a few warm ones. The Wise Turkey was preparing himself for bed, having rinsed mud from his muddy gardening boots and hung them on a peg in the pantry, then taking a small dinner of seeds and bread, brushing his feathers carefully to clean out the mud and pollen, and climbing the stairs of the house to his room.

He had sipped some water and sat down on the edge of the bed. Listening to the creak of the springs in the old bed, he noted they somehow sounded different. He paused, motionless, and the creaking and scratching continued briefly, then stopped. He thought for a moment---Wise Turkeys are pensive like that, always conjecturing an explanation for anything out of the ordinary---bed springs don't do things like that, at least these springs never did before.

After a moment, and a heavy eyelid or two, he thought better of it and swung one skinny, clawed leg up on the bed. The creaking and scratching resumed. He paused, motionless again, straining his hearing. Yes, he was not mistaken.

He bounced, lightly, once on the bed. The unusual sound was not coming from his bed. It was coming from the wall. He cranked his eyelids as wide open as he could. Silently, he lowered his leg to the floor and stood, then crept to the window. He reached to the sill of the window and brushed it with his wing, softly at first then harder, until it made a gentle squeak.

Another squeak came in reply, outside the window.

He slid the window open slowly, and carefully stuck his head out to look.

There in the gloom, above and toward the south-eastern corner of the house, three dark forms hung under the eave of the roof. One large, two smaller on either side of it, like three black leathery bells hanging there in the dark.

The Wise Turkey brushed his wing against the sill once more, and he heard the strange sound once again, though it was barely a sound, it was more like a click that happened so fast he could barely hear it. Ben and Doug, the old men who lived with him in the house, would never have heard it because they were humans, and they were old. Old humans don't hear high-pitched sounds as well as young ones, you see, and there are sounds even young ones can't hear.

Then he saw two tiny points of light open at the bottom of the large thing in the middle. They blinked. They were eyes, and the eyes were looking directly at him.

You probably know what those dark hanging forms are by now.

The large middle one stretched wide with leathery wings taut between fine bones like the fingers of a hand. The two smaller ones slid closer to the large one and climbed from the eave to its side. Then they squeaked again, in tiny, weak voices.

As his eyes adjusted to the dimness, he could see that they were nuzzling their tiny noses into the fur of their mother's belly. Moments later, they squeaked again and shivered.

Wise turkeys, as I already told you, tend to figure things out if they are disturbed or if they think any kind of suffering is going on. And these bats were clearly suffering.

The warmth of spring had called these bats out from their winter sleep, and had offered many flies and moths for them to eat. But the cold snap of this night had cut short the bats' anxious feeding too soon after coming out of hibernation.

Soon, the Wise Turkey knew what he would do.

There had been peaches for sale at the market several days ago, brought over the mountains by his friend the Elk, from a land where the seasons are ahead of ours here and peaches have already ripened and the trees are preparing themselves for winter.

He had bought some. The peaches were in a colander on the kitchen table, and some were overripe. He remembered that at dinner he had seen, out of the corner of his eye, that fruit flies had begun circling over the peaches.

He pulled his nightshirt over himself, stepped his claws into slippers, and padded downstairs to retrieve them. He also brought a tray and a lamp.

Still very quietly, he slid the tray into the open window, wedging it so it would bear the weight of the peaches and the lamp without falling either out or in. The colander of peaches, with fruit flies looping around it, was on the end of the tray that hung outside, and the lamp balanced it at the end inside the bedroom. Then the Wise Turkey sat softly again on the edge of his bed, letting a few squeaks rise from the mattress into the tangy cold air that was entering through the window, and he watched.

After a few minutes, more scratching and more squeaking, then silence, as the Wise Turkey watched the flies and the peaches in the flicker of the lamp. Soon enough there flew a dark form, too fast to see except as a shadow that darted between the lamp and the colander full of overripe peaches. It made no noise, none at all---wait, here and there were faint clicks, like the sound of one fingernail tapping another, or like the breaking of a thread drawn too tight.

His eyelids again became heavy and he could see the darting shadow no more. The peaches were now as cold as the night air, and no more fruit flies stirred over them. The oil of the lamp had burned low. He brought the tray in and set it aside, then looked out again to the eave.

The two babies were attached to their mother's belly, and her wings were folded over them. Her eyes looked directly at him, then blinked once, twice, and closed slowly as if she too were drowsy.

He slid the window shut and took the peaches back downstairs.

Then he took a paring knife, peeled a peach, cut away the brown spots of its flesh, separated the flesh from the pit, and ate it slowly.

And then he went to bed.

Fûzboat replaced

An '02 four-door Malibu with V6, everything power except seats. No stone chips.

I probably got taken to the cleaners: I got $825 for the Taurus with the hemorrhaging transmission, and paid about $250 less than their asking.

But I wasn't followed into the parking lot by a hustler and endured no good-cop-bad-cop routines between the salesman and his manager.

The finance guy needs new software though, or a new printer that registers consistently on his forms. It took longer to do the paperwork than to close the deal.

Paging Mr Rummel, Mr James Rummel

I wouldn't wish a random act of violence on anyone. But maybe someone's heart can be changed and some good come of it.

Surely Mr Rummel could fit in a new CCW student.

Oooops. Never mind.

20040430

Quote for the day

Witch hunts are unambiguously bad because we know there are no witches.

Eugene Volokh, whose blog is not an opinion blog.

20040429

Go tell them they're wrong, please

Grim asks me to pass along to all dozen of my readers, that DoD is taking comments on a proposed rule that would prohibit civilian contractors in deployed areas (such as Iraq) from arming themselves.

This has ramifications for life here in the peaceable Republic. Go now and comment, please.

blotter stuff

The Cabinet Man is alive and well, has not been interned for reeducation by his anointed betters in Maryland for dissing their CCW process, and is considering a new main battle rifle. Please show him the love in the comments section, readers, to encourage him to post something new.

* * * *

You might be interested to know that we named our children according to a system. This system was not laid down in advance so much as the order emerged, and as more children were added we noticed which rules were laid down and followed them.

At least one name, first or middle, is taken from someone else in the family. No surprise there.

Girls' names follow a rhythm of dah dit dit dah ("open the door") and boys' follow dah dit dah dit ("have a cookie").

Firstborn's non-family-originated name was after my second-grade teacher.

Middlechild's non-family-originated name is from B. B. King's guitar.

Both of Boy's names are from family, either my grandfather or Barbaloot's father. We thought he'd be an only boy (hence "Boy") and the double family name.

Oh we were mistaken. Toad gets a middle name from my father.

* * * *

The Fûzboat is being replaced. At 100k miles and an irreparable transaxle leak, its movements are easily traced by satellite. It leaves "C"-shaped puddles of warm cherry-red oil wherever it is parked. Much of this oil also is blown back to the catalytic converter, where it turns to smoke. We think the leak comes from an axle seal damaged when we slid the front curb-side wheel into a curb on a patch of ice. It put a nice crack in the transaxle case too, but another Twenty-first Century shmoo, J-B Weld, closed that up handily.

Rather than face the nasty one-time hit of depreciation that comes with driving a new car off the lot, we're pricing cars from a rental fleet. Hello Malibu. Or Intrepid. Or Impala. Or Taurus. I'm torn.

* * * *

Toad carries around about 12 pounds and is round, full, and very smiley. He gives us six hours of uninterrupted sleep, and it's time to reassemble the crib in Boy's room for him.

* * * *

I make up stories to tell my daughters as I drive them around to swimming lessons, occupational therapy, or a grocery trip. Firstborn asks for a Wise Turkey story. They are made up on the spot ("It was on an evening just like this one, in early spring, a cold night after two very warm ones . . . "). The very first Wise Turkey story took several grocery trips and a Christmas shopping trip or two to tell, and carries an epic quality. Unfortunately it will be difficult to recall and post here, but I'll try.

Maybe Mamamontezz would be up for illustrating them?

* * * *

Speaking of illustrating, I visited a Barnes and Noble at the Mall of America last weekend, prior to returning from a TDY at Undisclosed Combat Readiness Training Center, and scanned the Art section. I grabbed one on drawing manga. Firstborn is fascinated.



Roger that, big time

How refreshing that somebody goes public in support of the return to legislative appointment, rather than election, of Senators:

Zell Miller: Dump 17th Amendment


Just as only Nixon could go to China, I think only a former Senator could so boldly suggest a move.

Again, how damned refreshing. When the State legislatures resume appointing Senators, then they can resume recalling them too.

20040428

Used to work for one of these

StrategyPage has a l337l3 post on theater air control squadrons (scroll as needed to 28 Apr 04). I used to be a one-deep readiness shop in one of these units for a loooong time.

I dispute that there's anything really "high tech" about them. And they aren't all that portable. By the time the several tons of TPS-75 radar on six prime movers is packaged with the rest of its operations, maintenance, and support people and all of their gear, it gets closer to 25 vehicles and 100-plus officers and enlisted. Break them into A and B shifts and put them somewhere outside the protective layer of SFs that usually accompany a forward operating location, and they'll look rather skinny and vulnerable.

But I thought that most of these units (including my own) were disbanded in the last few years, partly because their nifty new Modular Control Equipment---computerized, networked radar screens---weren't Y2K compliant. Maybe by now they've figured out how to use Sun workstations instead.

20040427

If pack is preferable to herd, we need claws

Bruce Hershensohn joined Bill Bennett's radio show today as a guest. In his closing remarks, about the likelihood of another terrorist attack against the US and timed to influence the general elections, he made a strong point that it will not be enough for us to survive through this period. We will have to win. We will have to prevail.

I was tracking him on this point. He continued: we will have to give Mideast terror groups a resounding defeat, so our children and grandchildren can someday enter a Federal building without having to navigate the concrete planters and metal detectors. I was tracking him even better. He wants future Americans to not have to suffer the indignities of airport searches. Wow. I liked his line of argument better still.

Then he used the word inconveniences to describe all of these antiterrorism measures that he hoped one day would no longer be necessary because of the sound defeat of the parties these measures are deployed to deter.

He lost me right there.

It is not a fscking inconvenience that I can no longer carry a folding knife aboard an aircraft, a common practice of mine and many others before the World Trade Center was leveled. We are not merely discommodated by having to either check that knife in luggage or leave it at home. A few stout folding knives, in the hands of ordinary passengers, could have turned that attack from three thousand deaths and an American economy held breathless for days, to the loss of just the plane and the souls aboard it, possibly even to recovering control of the cockpit. We've seen that ordinary people can and will do the extraordinary, even to kill themselves while foiling an attempt to convert an airliner into a cruise missile. Public policy must not interfere with people rising to the extraordinary occasion.

Public policy in this case actually prolongs our vulnerability to terror, pushing farther into the future any day when we can forklift the giant planters away from the Federal building and stop wanding grandmas in the airport, and release the TSA screeners to the economy to pursue useful work.

If instead of a terrorist capture of the plane, there is a mishap, and the crew manages to land the plane in some remote, Godforsaken country with a few souls still alive, I'll need that folding knife, and that Swiss Army knife, both regular companions of mine, whether to extract passengers from the wreckage, or break into luggage, or improvise shelter until help arrives. My fellow passengers might need them if I'm dead, and they're welcome to rummage my pockets to find them.

Giving up those knives is not a mere inconvenience, Mr. Hershensohn. It's helplessness, and nobody is made safer by being rendered helpless. This helplessness is imposed upon all of us by people who see their responsibility not in my safety, but in the smooth operation of a gigantic nation-state bent on preserving itself. We are mere resources for that state to expend; in that respect they are little better than al Qaeda sending hopeless twits to detonate themselves among us.

A critic could infer that, by my reasoning, we ought to allow people to carry guns aboard aircraft too.

Well, glad you asked: yes, we should. Not just pilots, and not just after said pilots have effectively been nationalized as Federal law enforcement officers. But we have to crawl before we can walk, walk before we can run. Restoring edged weapons would confer no disproportionate advantage to the boarding terrorist. There will be more than enough of us Retrosexuals bringing ours along again.

Letting the very cold air of reality hit every man's and woman's face will brace us as a people for the task before us. We cannot prevail as a nation, in a conflict against a stateless Islamist underworld, unless their ultimate target, the weakling, is denied them. We'll do our part, but our laws must not put obstacles before us.