it's called copy editing or manuscript editing, I can't remember

It has been creeping up on my radar for years now. Even in respectable deadtree publications where people know better, such as American Spectator's print edition, I see the misuse of the apostrophe, or the confusion of rein with reign. It's the tip of an ugly and unnecessary iceberg.

Just now, as the straw that broke this fatigued blogger's back, I saw a whacked apostrophe in a post regarding Natalee Holloway's disappearance. But I see them everywhere, in places where they should not occur, where literate folk do not expect them, and frankly, in places where their authors can ill afford.

I can solve your problems. I know how to use the apostrophe. I compel subject and verb to agree in number. I have mastered the plural, the posessive, and the plural posessive. If I review your work, any risk that you will be revealed as a cad and poseur will arise solely from the quality of your ideas, not from your grammar, punctuation, or spelling.

Such insurance, bought cheaply, has built empires for the likes of the National Review, NYT, WaPo . . . yet have they fallen, as they neglected such insurance. So shall you rise, humble blogger, if you cross my palm with silver.

Those troublesome commas can also be brought into line, or into compliance with Strunk and White; if you haven't the time nor inclination to do it for yourself, let me do it. I might not have the time but my inclination is abundant. What remains is the matter of compensation.

Difficulty with homonyms? To, two, too? I can tell the difference so you don't have to.

Spelling? Three-times running spelling bee champion of Podunk, Pennsylvania. If I misspell something it's from fatfingering. The spelling rules are embedded so deeply I cannot consciously affect them. I have Miss Glossner, Miss Strayer, and Mrs McGill to thank, and so can you.

Effect versus affect? I've got you covered.

So think about it. If you want to enter the Big Leagues, you want to show the deadtree Media that you Are In Fact All That And A Box Of Chicken---that not only do you write but that you Are Edited---I am the lever with which you can move the world. You supply the place to stand.

Mind you, it has to be worth my while. I have to be maintained in the manner to which I am accustomed. After all, only a cad and poseur ends a sentence with a proposition.

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